I had spent the morning clearing my head and in so doing I found myself clearing my dresser top off. You see, I have this puppy (more on him later) anyway, at night I have to put every shoe and chewable item on the dresser so he doesn't redesign it for me. I also have a second door in my bedroom that leads to my merlot colored room we call "the den" but actually it's my winter writing room. Every night I push a chair in front of the door so the cats can't get in the bedroom. It's a winter shifting thing. On top this chair is a heavy drawer filled with essential oils I am deciding to find a place for.
Well this morning I said, "Enough of this noise," and I cleared off the dresser and set up my oils.
In so doing I found this-
Inside this tiny heart pendant is a picture of my baby, Nathan, I lost during labor. He would be 18 this July 28th. I stared at his face, his little hands they put around a bear less than 2" tall. I was sad and I haven't been sad about him for a while. I hadn't seen that picture for years.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in the granary (my summer writing room) looking over old cards, hospital records and other things from that part of our lives. I didn't find the thing I was looking for though. It was a picture someone gave me of a child on a swing. It was given to me after I had a dream of him on a swing while I still was carrying him. Funny how those things happen. It's somewhere and I'm sure it will turn up at just the right moment.
Through all this I realized I had my story for NaPiBoWriWee. It was about a child that looses their baby brother and the swing that was to be his. Death is not an easy subject to write about, especially for children. But, it is unfortunately a necessary subject.
I hope someday it will be published.
Thanks for reading . . .